I hope all people will be fine. Well society is bad but for protection you
will have to provide the kids some alternative such as games on computer but
dont provide them internet. You can have gatherings of some good pakistani
families. Most important thing is that dont allow them to go to friends
rather ask them to call their friends at your home.
Well i dont have kids yet so this will be enough from my side i think :)

Allah Hafiz and take care

Syed Adnan Hasan <sahassan75@hotmail.com>

This is a very sensitive topic. Our children are our asset. Most of the people who migrated here says that
we came here for our children.

You have to do "Jihaad" for your children here. If you can afford send them to Islamic School not to the
public school. But if you can't afford you must send them to weekend islamic school.

You have to make friendship with your children. That type of friendship in which they can tell you
everything (good or bad things) they faced in the outside. You can't stop them to watch TV and using
Internet. Dont be rash with your children ever, otherwise you gonna loose your kids. Canadian
constitution give them protection and freedom. Be patient and tackle them diplomatically.

Thanks,

Shakeel Ahmed Khan, Toronto <ghouri27@yahoo.com>

Dear Sister Zainab,

I am not a parent with children but I can commnet as a physician and as an immigrant. Definitely it is something to be afraid of the open society in Canada as compared to Pakistan. However, I can assure you that what goes on behind closed doors in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, as a parent I do not think you want to know. I know this as a peer. One just has to go to schools, colleges, and universities and see the new atmosphere and also what has taken a tide in Pakistani teenagers as they entered the twilight zone in the 21st century- mod and cool. All sorts of problems are being seen in the upper and lower class teenagers according to my colleagues who are pursuing training at Aga Khan Univ Hospital, Liaqat Natinoal Hospital, JPMC, and CHK from drinking to drugs to poisoning to venereal diseases.

If you say you can control TV in Pakistan, then look at the channels on cable and dish and that tells you what there is. And on computer, well they can do anything there in Pakistan. Definitely it is difficult to adjust to what is going on in an ever changing world but on has to. I came to Canada and found it difficult and thought I would have given the exams and entered the system and instead was flipping burgers and fries and living with a friend. Several of my colleagues have finished internships in Pakistan and are in the proces of writing FCPS I while I am still trying to figure out how I will give USMLE's, etc. But if I get my exams and citizenship and wait for the fruit to ripen I know I can get ahead of several people.

I would work as hard as possible to keep my children from trouble if I were you by getting a cable tv but cutting out channels like movie channels and leaving in just news, cartoons etc. The kids may go somewhere else and watch TV. The dish box does have parental control and locking so children cannot mess around. Also, I would not get discouraged about living in a basement apartment- most everyone who comes from the Gulf live in that situation. Also, you came here with a purpose sister and for you children. Get the citizenship for your children and then go back since it will be very difficult to travel without a citizenship of Canada or UK in the future. They can temporarily attend some Islamic school till three years although that is like a private school and they have to charge the minimum tuition fees any private school does according Canadian provincial and federal regulations. A last bit of advice- teach the kids Islamiat and as importantly as English, should be Urdu if you can since loosing contact with their mother tongue and land is very bad. Indians do not allow their children to get away without learning urdu or hindi but Pakistanis do so we ought to take a lesson from that. Arabs do the same as Indians and that is also a way to keep the child abreast of his own culture

Jazak Allah and Assalam o alaikum!
"Nabil Sami" <nabilsami@hotmail.com> 
 

"What does it profit a man, if in gaining the world, he loses his own Soul & Children".
Unquote:

People like us (i.e. immigrants from Pakistan) belong to a class that only has a choice of "Problems". List all the problems of living in a Canadian Society and then compare them with the problems of "Pakistan". We only have a choice of selecting "All the Problems" of the society we want to live in. 

Those new comers who need any help, particularly during the initial tough phase, are requested to contact us and we will be more than happy to help them, in any way we possibly can.

Best regards,

Rafat & Zahida Chaudhry
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Tel: (905) 814-4951 (Home), (905) 812-1985 (Work), Fax: (905) 812-1901, Email: rafatc@rogers.com or rafat@mac-mark.com 
 

Although, I live in USA .  This is very interesting and sensitive topic.

However, I would just like to add my 2cents into this. Those of us who have migrated and those that plan to do specially from Middle east and even Pakistan should think of where we are. No matter where you are you will find good and bad. 

What I find the best of this society is that the general teaching in shoold and society putd emphasis on being truthful - STRAIGHT TALK . This is what is really lacking in our Muslim countries at the moment.
If we all really sart looking at ourselves internally instead of pointing fingers at what is "wrong". I am sure that we can contribute both to our new countries as well as old one.

In USA I have seen over the years that  Girls are wearing Hijab while Mothers are not due to to Youth  learning from the"STRAIGHT TALK" experience. 

Solets us first become truthful to ourselves and our children. Start to implement the "WALK THE TALK" and  I am sure over the long run wherever we land we will be "BLESSED". INSHA_ALLAH we should do that first.
The best example of this is in many years of jobs and changes in America -I have never been asked to prooduce my Degrees etc ( BTW- I am engineer- Things are slightly different for doctors) because there is a basic trust and assumption on the part of most to acceopt what you say. In contrast thsi would not be case in most of the times in all Muslim Countries.

Sorry if I have offended some people but I believe in "straight talk and have tried to practice it in most of dealing  throughout my life.
So lets us al pray and seriously work on becoming straight talker. No more "Golis" ( Pakistan Terminology) for any matter whether it is minor or major. I have faith that  our children here will be better than anywhere else as at least they kearn and practice this "trait" in this part. In Pakistan most of us have at times taken and resorted to making and giving "GOLIS".

So have fun - enjoy and remember us in your prayers.

BTW: Rafat do try to keep in touch sometimes- Folks here in valley do remeber you. I will pass your co-ordinates to Khalid Seth and Arshad when I meet them in social gathering or Friday prayers.

FYI- My particulars have not changed . They still remain the following
 

Manzer H. Tariq
48935 Yampa Ct.
Fremont, CA 94539
(510) 623-0938
Home e-mail: Manzert@aol.com
 

I understand your problem as I have gone through this stituation also.Please keep in mind the folowing points.
There is a lot of difference in the environment, social,economical, religious and moral values between Pakistan and Canada or western countries. 
When you decided to come here you must have thought about it--its not like people dont know about it - world is a global village now, everyone knows about the advantages and disadvantages of western society. 
You have to face the peoblem about your kids many times more than in Pakistan. 
You cant keep your kids at home. They spend more time out like in school which you cant avoid. 
I disagree about Mr Jawed that in Pakistan people do the same  secretly--have you seen such interaction among boys and gilrs in school,colleges or even in university in Pakistan as you see in canada at school level, an open vulgarity inspires a lot more than a hidden one. 
In Pakistan a limited no of man/woman are corrupt alhamdoolilah majority is decent and religious. 
In Canada you must keep an eye on your kids everytime, sometimes it makes them confused coz out there they are in a free society beyond the level, and in home they find the opposite. 
If you want to be successful you have to work hard in and out--and still its up to your luck. 
As you know society has a great impact on people and you cant get rid of it.
These is my opinion, I think generally everybody has to face it. So good luck and allah hafiz.

 Shehnaz <shehnaz56@yahoo.com> 
 

Yes we would all like to live in Pakistan. Unfortunately there is no safety, security or law and order in Pakistan. The day we have these you will see a huge reverse migration to Pakistan.

What kind of work are you ad your husband looking for? I am a settlement worker in a community service agency. My job is to help newcomers settle into Canada. If you live in Toronto, please call me at 416-439-9009 X 31. Maybe I can help.

Allah Hafiz

Akbar Khan <akbarkhan786@hotmail.com>